the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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