Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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