i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
