She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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