i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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