my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
