This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
