You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
