There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
