She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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