Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
