I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
