God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize