im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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