It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
