Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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