After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
