it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
