he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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