your thong is hanging out like whoa
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
this just has baby written all over it
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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