I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
