We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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