I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
