ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
