Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
