Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
