So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
