how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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