If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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