Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
