"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Farmville is her only friend.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
