Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
This is the high leading the old right now
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
