I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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