i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
