Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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