"it" just moved
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
