I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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