Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
