I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
