forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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