I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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