she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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