New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
honey bunches of taint.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
