ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
