He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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