So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize