Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
