I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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