sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
