I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
