We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
