so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
