I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
