please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
