you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
