Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
