Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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