I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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