So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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