I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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