Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
