Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
