Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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